I’m Sorry, I Don’t Recall “In My Pants” Being on the Menu

26 Mar

First off, let me preface this by saying that this is NOT about the guy that’s made me smile for the past 3 weeks, he’s amazing – this is regarding someone I went out as platonic friends tonight, there’s never been any romantic interest at all on either side, and we’ve known each other for about two years now. Needless to say, that came to a dead stop tonight because apparently when you don’t sleep with a guy, you’re not good enough to be friends with either. I’m not here only when it’s convenient for you, to be an option, when you need something or to be a “f**k buddy”, that’s not me and if that’s how someone sees me, then they need to look at little harder at who I am. I deserve better than that, deserve more respect than that and am not gonna settle for less than what I deserve. Time is too short for games.

Why is it that when a guy, and a good friend at that, pays for dinner, they expect the next step to be sex??? Last time I looked the price beside the entree gave a dollar amount, it didn’t say “screw me” or “get me off” beside it. If that was the case, I’ll have a glass of water please and let me pay for my own dinner. Has it really come down to this? Give me a break! Now I love sex, don’t get me wrong, it ranks right up there with breathing and as a matter of fact, sometimes it’s better than breathing since I have asthma, but does is have to be the underlying reason you want to be with someone? What ever happened to being with someone because they make you laugh or they bring out a good side of you, you “get” each other, or because you have a great connection? Why does it always end with having to push a guy off of you and have to repeatedly say “I’m not sleeping with you” only to have them get pissed off at you?? If I want to sleep with you, you’ll know it, trust me, I’m not that subtle and chances are if there is good chemistry and a connection, it’s gonna happen but it’s not gonna be just because you have a raging hard on because the wind blew just hard enough. Your boner is not my problem to solve and I’m not obligated to do so because you paid for dinner or a movie.

I’m just so sick of someone wanting to be with me for that reason and then if I don’t put out when they want it, you don’t hear from them again? I’m not in high school or college anymore, I’ve played those games and so sue me, I want more than that out of a relationship with someone – friendship or romantically. If I choose to be with you, it’s because of who you are as a person, not because you have a great ass, broad shoulders, big pecs or drive a nice car.I think there’s something in you that’s worth my time. Are men really that vain and self-centered? Yes, they are. Granted, there are some really great guys out there and I don’t argue that in the least, but those don’t seem to be the ones with genuine interest. People always bitch and moan because they can’t find a good woman or a good man, look around you, they’re everywhere. Why is it so hard to just be with someone for awhile and not push the whole sex issue? It’ll happen when the timing’s right, not in the back of some car and not in some hotel room. I am not trying to sound like some naive 10 year old girl who thinks that Prince Charming is gonna ride up on a horse and rescue her, I am so far past that fairytale, but I believe that there is someone out there for everyone and they’ll find you or vice versa when they’re meant to, IF they’re meant to. I guess you could say I still believe in the fairy tale, but apparently my PC is fighting his own inner dragons in someone else’s fairytale. I still believe what my heart told me at 10, but with the realism of a 38 year old woman.

I am NOT saying this out of vanity at all, but I hear this kinda thing all the time and hear it about my female friends: “you have such a pretty face”, “you have pretty eyes”,”hey sexy”…that’s all nice to hear but like everyone else, there is so much more to a woman than a pretty face. Look AT her, don’t look through her. For me personally, I’m fun as hell, laid back, have an awesome personality, a wicked sense of humor, one of the best friends you could ever have, I’m kind hearted and will do what I can to help someone without wondering what’s in it for me, and when I love, I love with my whole heart and give you 100% of who I am. I do things from my heart, not from my va-jay-jay! On the flip side, I am moody like we all are from time to time, my hair isn’t always perfect, I get zits, I’m outspoken and have no problem telling you how I feel about the important things even if it’s not what you want to hear sometimes, I don’t and will never wear a size 6 (get over it already), I drink on occasion, I wheeze from asthma, trip over my shoelaces, have blonde moments and I’m never gonna be anyone’s perfect Suzy-homemaker girlfriend or turn heads when I walk in a room. I may be average on the outside, but I’m by no means ordinary as far as WHO I am as a person. Why is it so hard for people to just enjoy each other’s company, give things a chance, and see each other for who they are before looking for the quickest way into their pants??? Looks are gonna eventually fade, gravity takes over, asses spread and some wonder where in the world theirs even went, boobs fall off into the armpits when we sleep because they’re just not perky anymore, some of you men won’t even be able to get it up eventually without a blue pill and some of you can’t keep it up now, body parts “shift”, we gain weight, we lose weight, have laugh lines that aren’t going away and have crow’s feet we wish would, and I hate to spill the beans on this, but we all are getting older by the minute and that’s the one thing that isn’t going to change unless you drop dead tomorrow (which we all have the same and equal chance of doing by the way). When it comes down to it, when you’re writing your will, who are you going to take care of and what do you want people to remember about you? Are you going to want to leave your legacy to some chick you slept with at dinner whose name you can’t remember, the one who probably turned around and slept with someone else the next night too or the ones that were there for you, who loved you and accepted you for who you were? Do you think people are gonna remember you for how many people you slept with? Stick with the things that matter…they’re what counts when it’s important. Stop playing games with people, be honest, and grow up.. So before you get pissed off at a woman for not jumping in the sack with you,think about your daughter or any other woman in your life that means something to you and think how they would feel being treated that way. If you’re a father and you have a daughter, you know you’re always telling her about how boys can be, what they want, and you know it would make you mad to know someone treated her this way…don’t turn right around and be that same boy you’re warning her about. Same rules apply…

Ok, I’m done…men just don’t get it. Women do.


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