The Trouble with Love Is …

13 May

I’ve noticed that with so many reality shows trying to help you “find real love” that people tend to forget what real love is these days. It’s become so commercialized that people can’t tell what’s real and what isn’t anymore. The trouble with love is that so many people don’t learn to appreciate what real love is and what it should be. They think that the occasional “I love you” is all it takes or they think “well, they know I love them, I don’t have to tell them”. It’s not that you HAVE to tell them, it’s that you WANT to tell them. Love isn’t obligatory, it’s not something that you’re guaranteed, and it’s sure not something you can just go onto a tv show and find. Love is a gift and it’s one that should be held in the highest regard. So how do you know that it’s real love and not just something trying to fake you out again? For me, personally, I’ve only experienced real love twice in my life and I’ve learned to tell the difference. It’s not just the funny feeling in the pit of my stomach, it’s so much more than that.

Love is:

Giving someone your heart and not expecting anything in return from them.

Looking into someone’s eyes and instead of seeing their faults and flaws, you see the good things.

You learn to look past the imperfections and realize that those are what makes them who they are, along with the good.

You genuinely find yourself being completely unselfish and wanting what’s best for the other person, even if it breaks your heart in the process.

Believing in someone when they’ve ceased to believe in themselves – seeing the best in them when they can’t see it themselves.

You look at that person and they honestly make you want to be a better person.

Though the outer cover of the book may be tattered and worn, you still love what’s inside those covers.

When you can forgive and forgive from your heart and mean it

When you want to be with the one that just “fits”, the one who makes you laugh, the one who makes you feel like you can do the impossible

When you are able to step back and give the other person breathing room when they need it and not wonder if they need it because of something you did, you don’t question, you just give them the space we all need from time to time

You can’t go a day without thinking of them at least once (not obsessively mind you, but at least once)

When you discover that sometimes letting someone go is a much deeper love than hanging onto them because sometimes letting them go is what’s better for them

When you’re willing to put your heart out there and be honest about your feelings, even though it may not have the response you hoped for.

When you say “I love you” and get those same butterflies in your stomach because you know how much you mean it

When your arms are willing to hold and your heart is willing to accept someone at their worst

When you can talk AND listen

When you can sit together in total silence and not wonder if “he’s mad at me” or why he’s not talking..

When you’ve had a horrible day and just their smile or the sound of their voice makes you forget how bad it was and how good it just became

When you find yourself forgetting to breathe 🙂

When simply holding their hand is all the security you need

When they hug you and all your defenses disappear

And in my case, I can do or say something really dumb and NOT feel like the world’s biggest idiot.

I think it’s about time that we get back to the basics of love, relationships and stop letting society dictate what’s right, what’s wrong, who’s right and who’s wrong. I still believe in the fairy tale and in true love like my heart told me when I was a nine year old girl with pigtails, but now I believe in it with the clarity and sense of a 44 year old woman. Never feel like you can’t tell someone you love them, go ahead and do it, you may only have one chance to do it because tomorrow is never guaranteed.

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