Some People Complain That Roses Have Thorns, I’m Glad that Thorns Have Roses.

11 Jun

Ok, I’m not some moody, freakin’ weirdo that is constantly having to count down to her next mood swing, but I do have those days when things just don’t go right and and I need a kick in the ass. On those days, I do the one thing that can always make me see that life isn’t as bad as I think it is – I go to the cemetery. Odd and morbid, I know, but it’s the one place where things actually come back together and make sense again. It’s a great place to go, spend some time with myself and my thoughts and get some clarity on the situation. I see that not having a job is better than not having the physical ability to perform a job, that not having the guy I am crazy about be just as crazy over me is better than not having true friends and family that love me, that living week to week on unemployment instead of a higher, steady paycheck that I’m used to is better than wondering where my next meal is going to come from. It made me realize that things rarely seem to turn out as we expect them to and that’s because life’s under no obligation to give us what we expect. We should learn to take what we’re given and be thankful it’s no worse than it is. There’s always someone who would love to be in your position.

As I walked around Oakwood and really studied some of the headstones, it made me think how lucky I really am to have what I have, even if it’s not what I wanted in life. I looked at headstones of young people that never even made it to their teens and twenties, who had not even started to live their lives and wondered what circumstances brought them to this place – was it an accident, was it a senseless act of self infliction, was it illness, was it something worse? I’ve never had to encounter any of those things in my life up to this point – never been deathly sick, never been diagnosed with a terminal illness, never been in a major life threatening car accident, would never even contemplate taking my own life and I’ve never had to come face to face with those who want to do other people harm. It made me think of how sad their families must have been and how they never really had to the chance to see them grow and become their own person.

I walked through the Confederate soldier section and the sheer amount of graves made me actually think “Wow, that’s alot of people, alot of suffering, and alot of unnecessary death”. There were soldiers graves from several wars dating all the way back to the 1800’s up until the current war and the typical age seemed to be between 22 and 36. Those are the years that should be a person’s prime, falling in love, starting a family, raising your children, instead that family was mourning their death. There were several unknown soldiers and it must have been agony for the families of those men not knowing how their loved ones died or even where they were buried and never knowing. There were some graves from the 1800’s and as I looked at those and the terrible shape they were in with broken headstones, weathered and beaten, weeds grown up around them, I felt for that person knowing that those they were close to are no longer around to care for their final resting places, no one to come see them, no one to remember them and that is very sad. I wonder how I will be remembered? I want to be remembered as someone who made people feel good about themselves, someone who was known for her kindness and ability to laugh at herself as well at with herself. I want to be that girl that people look back on and smile when they hear my name.

So, anyway, the sadness of it all brought me to the realization that this is life and it’s not always going to be presented to me in a nice box tied up with a red bow. It’s got obstacles and if I have the strength and desire, I will get around those set backs and not let them keep me from moving down the road I want to travel. I don’t get in those moods too often and am pretty much thankful on a daily basis for what I’ve been given, but I have my days just like we all do and a trip to the cemetery always brings me back to feeling good about what I have and makes me realize that while so many people complain that roses have too many thorns, I am thankful that the thorns have roses.


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