Independently Owned and Operated, However Accepting Applications …

21 Jul


Applicant must be housebroken, not leave skidmarks in undies, have some resemblance of manners, be ok with a smart mouth, missing “brain to mouth” filter and brutal honesty while in public places such as Walmart, be “reasonably” attractive, love cold beer & good music, must NOT currently have wife or girlfriend, or a boyfriend for that matter! I won’t make you carry a FRU FRU dog named Puddles in my Louis Vuitton dog purse, ask if my ass looks big in my jeans because I already know it does, drink with my pinky in the air when I drink hot tea because I don’t drink hot tea or do raised pinkies, make you take Great Aunt Bertha bra shopping or make you endure nights out with the girls because well, that just doesn’t work. I also won’t make you eat rabbit food or cardboard tasting health bars just because they’re good for you, because I don’t eat that crap either and well hell, you’re a grown man, eat what you want. Obsession with video gaming is for teenagers so if you’re a “World of Warcraft” addict, I will have to pass unfortunately. When you grow up, please resubmit your application. If you’re addicted to internet porn, more power to you but there again, have to pass because you’re a perverted funk of nature. Thanks for your interest


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