R-E-S-P-E-C-T: What Does It Mean?

25 Sep

In the words of the mighty Aretha, it’s all about R-E-S-P-E-C-T or at least it should be …

I am so tired of seeing my friends hurt, put down, heartbroken or pissed off because some idiot with no idea what the “Golden Rule” means treated them like crap. This is a problem with both women AND men. We’re all guilty of being disrespectful at one time or another, whether it be intentional or unintentional. The person who gets hurt doesn’t care if you meant to make them feel bad, bottom line is YOU DID.

When it comes to dating and relationships, it’s all about mutual respect, trust and honesty. I know, I am the LAST person to talk about this considering I’m always the one sitting at home on the weekends and haven’t had a date in … well … I can’t even remember the last one I had.

It’s pretty easy, do unto your other and you would want your other to do unto you.  Simple, right? Yeah, not these days. Let’s get down to business and see what the hell is wrong with this picture:

Men:

1.) If you’re unattached and you’re gonna be a dog and sniff multiple crotches, don’t hide it. Make it known up front that you’re not interested in exclusive crotch sniffing but at the same time, don’t get all riled up if your woman decides to do a little sniffing of her own. Once you find a person that you really like, then have the “exclusivity” talk and stick to it. When you want to start sniffing around again, be honest about it and bark loud enough so there is no misunderstanding later.

2.) Texting vs calling: What did you used to do before the art of texting? You picked up the phone and called the girl. Why can’t you do that anymore? Texting is so impersonal and lazy. Women like to hear a man’s voice, it’s a fact. It means they cared enough to put aside whatever they were doing and carry on a conversation. Have some respect and show you actually are taking the time away from distractions to talk to her. It means alot.

3.) Call if you say you’re gonna call: I think it’s pretty self-explanatory. Granted, things come up and you can’t always call when you’d like but make an effort. Don’t use “I’ll call you” as a way of being polite when you’re honestly not interested in them. Don’t keep them hanging and hoping, drawing little hearts on notebook paper, if you have no intention of ever calling them again. If you’re just not that into someone, let them know in a nice way. There’s nothing wrong with actually parting as friends and starting a friendship if the dating doesn’t work out.

4.) Attitude: Bottom line, don’t be a dick. Unless your name is Richard or Dick, your mama didn’t name you that so you have no right to be one. So she nags you, so what? I’m sure you nag her about shit too at times. If she wants to spend time with you, it’s because she sees something in you that she likes. Remember that. Be nice. You don’t have to kiss her ass but just being nice never hurt a relationship, did it?

5.) Don’t call her a million times a day asking where she is, who she’s with, or what she’s doing. Trust her, chances are she’s not doing what you have built up in your mind. If you have trust issues, you may as well hang it up now. Give her room to breathe and consider the fact that it also gives you breathing room.

6.) It’s cliche, but bring her flowers for no reason, do something simple yet meaningful. Make her dinner, do that chore she keeps begging you to take care of, act like you actually like her new haircut even if it looks like someone took hedge clippers to her head. Leave her a note letting her know how much she means to you, write her a letter. Say thank you for what she does for you. Sounds dumb I know, but you’d be surprised the difference it makes. It might also get you laid. Just sayin’…

7.) If she says no, she means no. Let it go.

Now … Women:

1.) STOP BLOWING UP HIS FREAKIN’ PHONE! If he hasn’t called you yet, consider the fact that his life doesn’t stop because he hasn’t called you yet. If he says he will, he probably will. Life has it’s way of happening outside of your intended scheduling. Breathe, it’ll he ok. Chances are pretty good that he’s not cheating on you and he’s not lying in a ditch bleeding from the head. If he says he was busy, he probably was. If he doesn’t call at all, then give him hell. LOL! Stop texting him a million times a day asking why he hasn’t called you. That sure won’t get it done.

2.) Give him some space. Stop smothering him. Let him go out with the guys, it’s necessary. Trust him when he goes out with said guys. I know you have visions of him stuffing dollar bills in g-strings, strange girls grinding on his lap. More times than not, he’s sitting with the guys having some beers and watching tv or talking shit. He doesn’t have to be velcro-ed to your hip every minute of the day.

3.) Stop nagging. If you’ve asked him to do something once, give him time to do it. His time and your time aren’t always identical, but chances are he’ll do it. The more you nag, the longer it’ll take, if it’s done at all.

4.) Stop finding fault. He doesn’t make enough money, he doesn’t dress like you want him to, his job isn’t the best job. Does he love you and is he making an honest effort? Then what the hell are you bitching about?  Shut up.

5.) Stop acting desperate. You’re not gonna die if he doesn’t call or if you don’t have a boyfriend. The more desperate you are, the farther he’s gonna run. Stop acting a fool! Act like a grown woman for God’s sake.

6.) Say thank you. Thank him for what he does for you, let him know you appreciate him. All it takes is honest acknowledgement to prevent unnecessary crap.

7.) If he says no, he means no. Don’t whine because you don’t get your way. Whining isn’t attractive.

Ok, I’m off my soapbox now … sorry, 1am caffeine and reading Facebook rants from men and women will cause blogs like this. LOL!

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