Love … Life … and Well … You Know What To Do

30 Sep

So here I am, 42 years old, single, confused and still trying to figure out the meaning of life and let me tell you, the answers are NOT in the back of the book and there are no Cliff Notes cheat sheets. This one’s something each one of us has to figure out on our own.

Life may not mean the same thing to everyone so you can only figure out how it corresponds to you as a person. Life is about loving not only other people but yourself as well. Once you learn to love yourself and who you both on the inside and the outside, you’ll see life with so much more clarity and put life’s crap into perspective a little easier. Believe it or not, bad things happen to good people. There is no rhyme or reason to it and it’s not always someone’s fault, it just happens and life knocks you down. While you’re down there on your knees, it’s the perfect time to ask God for a little help, some guidance and some understanding. Once you’ve had your hour with your higher power, get up off your knees and stand tall, move on. People seem to always dwell on the negatives in life and that’s where we’re wrong. Don’t let the negatives make you a negative person, let them steer you towards being a stronger and better person.

Learn to Love and Be Loved – Love is the strongest yet unexplainable emotion we’ve been given. There is nothing like the euphoric feeling of being in love, loving someone with all your heart and knowing someone out there loves you with all of theirs as well. Love is something we all desire, it’s the common denominator between all of us, the one thing we all have in common. It’s also the one thing that we seem to have the biggest problem with. We need to learn what love really means, what it should be and how to enjoy it. Love is both an action and a feeling, something you feel and something you do. Love is not the same as lust and when you genuinely love someone, you’ll realize what that difference is. Love is seeing someone in a different light, seeing their flaws as part of what makes them who they are and learning to see past them. Love is giving someone your last sip of water when you’re about to die of thirst yourself. Love is holding hands and feeling that magic in someone’s touch, feeling those stupid butterflies in your stomach just by seeing them smile at you, learning to see the beauty in who they are as people. Love is wanting the other person’s genuine happiness and well being whether those things involve you or not. Love is supporting someone in making themselves a better person and it’s wanting to be a better person yourself. Love doesn’t mean never having to say you’re sorry, it means wanting to say you’re sorry if you’ve hurt them in some way. Everyone is deserving of love and of a chance to be loved. People have trouble loving themselves, who they are, what they look like. When you love someone, you help them see themselves through your eyes. Love is honest, real and never demanding. It’s patient, kind and holds a place in your heart that nothing else can occupy. Learn to let others love you, even though you’ve been hurt over and over again. Not everyone is out to hurt you, to make you insecure about who you are, someone will eventually come along that loves everything about you and doesn’t mind you in a sweatshirt and no makeup. Love sees things that the eye cannot see, it sees what the heart wants it to see. Learn to let love in and to let love breathe. Remember to love people even at their worst and when they least deserve your love, that’s when they need it the most.

Laugh, Gigglesnort and Hyperventilate – Laughter is the cure all for anything that ails you. If you’re sad and you watch a funny movie, you’re laughing before you know it. Laughter is good for the soul and is a must at least once a day, preferably more. Laugh at inappropriate times like in church (just watch out for grandma’s backhand or pinch). Laugh when your 80 year old grandfather falls asleep in church and starts snoring during the boring sermon, it’s ok. Lighten up! Life isn’t that serious, none of us are getting out alive anyway. Laugh in a business meeting, start a commotion. What’s wrong with that? Laugh when someone farts and laugh LOUD and HARD. It’s ok to snort if you’re laughing hard, there’s no such thing as laughing too hard. Just don’t pee, I draw the line at laughing so hard you leak although others might laugh harder when that happens. Life is funny most of the time, see the humor in it and laugh in it’s face. Sorry, but if someone trips and starts to fall, you know it’s funny and you know you’re gonna laugh. Go ahead. Be sure to offer help though. Just let go and laugh. When you’re down, think of something funny and laugh. People will think you’ve lost your mind but that’s ok. They don’t matter anyway. Laughing makes life so much more fun.

Don’t Be a Puss, Speak Up – If something’s bothering you, instead of stewing about it and making it worse, speak up about it, make your feelings known. If someone pisses you off, let them know. Tell off that asshole that cheated on you or broke your heart, let them know that while Jesus may love them, you still think they are a total bunghole and break down the reasons why. Don’t let people bring you down, make you miserable or doubt yourself. Hell no, step up to the plate and swing back. You can swing back in a mature, adult way though. Don’t stoop to their level, maintain some integrity yet get your point across in an effective manner. Slapping the shit out of someone does not count as an effective manner, even though it might make you feel good. Something on your mind, let it out, don’t let it fester. Are you in love with someone (preferably someone single and not attached, that could be awkward), just swallow your pride and give them a hint or if you have brass balls, be totally honest and say “Look dude, here’s the deal, I think you are the best thing since Ben and Jerry’s Chunky Monkey ice cream. I think you’re awesome and I just wanted you to know that.” They’ll either smile and thank you or they could totally turn tail and run, but at least you got it out there and were brave enough to make the gesture. If someone does something you don’t like, say “Look dude, that was totally bogus and uncool. Why did you do that?” Or you could use less Bill and Ted-ish language and say “Hey buddy, that just wasn’t nice at all and actually pretty crappy. Why would you do something like that?” If no one says anything, they’re gonna go do it again and piss off more people. Just say what you feel, it’s actually pretty easy once you master the first couple of tries. Your conscience will thank you later, trust me.

Appreciate and Have an Attitude of Gratitude – Be thankful, that should say it all. Appreciate those around you, they’re making a conscious choice to be a part of your life and you’re making a conscious choice to have them there. There’s obviously something about you they like if they’re still there, so say thank you. One day you could turn around and be completely alone, appreciate them while they’re here. Make an effort to tell them how you feel when you have the chance. One can never hear “thank you, I appreciate and love you” too often. Yes, your life may be in shambles right now or it could be perfect but there’s always someone who would much rather be in your position. Remember that and say thanks to the “Man Upstairs” often. You’re luckier than you might realize. Stop bitching about your job or your boss, be glad you have them even if they make your life hell. No paycheck and foreclose would make that hell burn a lot hotter if you didn’t have the boss and job. Appreciate. Say thank you when someone lets you into traffic (or at least wave because leaning out the window to yell thank you might cause an accident), say thank you when someone holds a door open for you, hold it open for the next person in return. Just pay it forward, no matter how small the nice deed was. A simple small gesture could completely change someone’s outlook on their entire day. Now by gesture, I meant nice ones, not the one fingered kind.

Life is awesome if you look around you, get to know those you’ve just met, appreciate those who love you and love them back. Pay attention to the small things, they’re not so small later in life. Value your relationships, they’re the only things you take with you at the end. Make good memories, make good friends, make good intentioned mischief. This isn’t a dress rehearsal and you don’t get do overs or mulligans, this is it, this is your life, right now, right here.

This moment is all you have.

Life rocks!


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