Things I’ve Learned at 45

5 May


I saw a story in Huffington Post this morning about one woman’s reality at the age of 45 and it got me thinking about my own reality at the same age. I think back over the years and realize just how much things have changed, not just physically but mentally. When I look in the mirror, I still see the eyes of a nine year old girl with pigtails but with the reality of a woman.

* My heart’s been broken more than a few times, it’s also been filled with love even more than it’s been broken.

* I’ve loved and lost, I’ve lost and found, and I’ve found and hung on to.

* I see the world through the eyes of someone interested in what’s going on around me

* There will always be haters. Don’t be part of that crowd.

* No matter how bad things are, don’t be an asshole. Nobody likes an asshole regardless of your situation.

* Get out and experience people and places. There’s more to life than “reality” shows, Facebook, Twitter and sitting in front of the tv or computer.

* I feel the pain of those around me and I also feel the love of those same people.

* I realize how important watching the news is now when I used to want nothing more than my dad to change the channel to something “interesting”. Now it’s the first thing I watch in the morning. I want to see how the world is changing around me.

* I realize the importance of politics and want to see the difference in how my country is currently being run and how our forefathers meant for it to be run.

* I don’t have the “stretch mark trophies” from giving birth, I have them from pizza, beer and years of eating the wrong things.

* Life doesn’t always have to be fair and it won’t be. But life is always worth living.

* Losing weight isn’t as easy as it used to be and neither is picking up something I drop.

* I’ve learned to see the good in people instead of immediately focusing on their flaws and imperfections. It’s not always the first thing you see, but it’s there somewhere if you pay attention.

* It’s ok to cry. Do it often if you need it. Cleansing the soul is good and provides clarity when you need it.

* I’ve learned that there’s always someone else who wishes they had my life, even though sometimes I wish it were different.

* People will always find fault, criticize and be cruel. Doesn’t mean what they say is the truth, it does say that there’s more of a problem with themselves than there is with you.

* I see my parents aging and sometimes it’s hard to realize that time is really passing as quickly as it is and I realize that the time I spend with them and the things I give up to help take care of them is so important and will leave me memories I wouldn’t trade for anything.

* I realize that my mom’s music really isn’t that bad, in fact, it’s actually pretty damn great. I realize dad’s music has always been great 🙂

* I know that scars will heal but they are always going to be there so learn to accept them and appreciate them. I now view them as “battle wounds” from surviving years of fighting my way through life.

* I realize that I’m never going to be that young girl with the cute body who turns a guy’s head anymore and I’m ok with that. I’d rather be the woman who grabs his attention because of who I am and holds his heart.

* I used to wonder if there was a God and honestly, with the state of the world, I sometimes catch myself wondering this same thing but I always know in my heart just by the beauty of things around me that there truly is.

* I’ve learned that our differences can sometimes bring us together instead of tearing us apart. It’s important to know that just because someone thinks differently doesn’t make it wrong, it’s simply another way of viewing things and we don’t always have to agree or see eye to eye. That’s the beauty of choice.

* Beauty is so much more than skin deep. It radiates from the heart, it comes from who you are. It’s in the way you carry yourself and the way you laugh at a stupid joke. It’s in the way you talk to other people. It’s in the way you learn to love who you are and be confident in yourself. Ugly is also more than skin deep. A beautiful face can never hide an ugly heart.

* Dirty jokes and fart jokes are funny. Sorry, but they are and at 45, there comes the time when you have to pull the stick out of your ass and loosen up a little. Have a sense of humor and stop cringing when someone talks about sex, farts or anything else that was once deemed “inappropriate.” It’s all part of being human, embrace it.

* I’ve learned that my circle of friends is so important. They’re the ones that I’m gonna lean on when things start to happen that bring you to your knees and take the breath out of you. They’re the ones to help me get back up and start to breathe again. The circle may not be large, but it’s important to realize who is really going to be there when you truly need them. Keep that circle close and keep it tight.

* I’ve learned that it’s ok not to be perfect, that it’s ok not to be a size 2 and that it’s ok not to have the flattest abs or the “apple bottom”. It’s good to just be who you are and work on improving what makes YOU comfortable and not what makes society comfortable.

* Old movies on the couch with a comforter and a bowl of popcorn (and a box of Kleenex) is a great way to spend a night.

* I am no longer the all nighter, the party animal, the girl who can run on high energy all night long. By 10pm. I”m good with being in bed. I live for it. Sleep does a body good.

* Lists like this are great to make once in awhile, they make you see how things have changed and how important it is to notice.

And I’ve learned that 45 is a great place to be.


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